DC

Oh what a fun trip. I met up with my dad and brother in DC for my birthday weekend. I only took Beckham, who was an absolute angel. We hit the red eye out and got into DC at 8 am. This was great in theory, except Beckham was the only one who slept on the plane. And it meant that we spend a good portion of our day sleeping. But once we woke up, we went to the national mall for a long walk around all the monuments.

The next day we headed up to Baltimore for the day. The rush concert was there that night, and my wonderful friend Christi came up too. She took Beckham home with her that night while I went to the show. Thanks again Christi!! We spent the day walking around the downtown promenade checking out the ships, eating five guys, walking over to little italy to get canoli's (which are now where near as good as Boston's), walking back to eat at McCormicks grill, and then heading to the show. Another great day.

On Saturday, we went to Mt. Vernon for the day. We walked around the grounds and awed at the view of the Potomac. On Sunday, we went to the Museum of Natural History and spent way too much time in the rocks section. The Dowdells (the people we were staying with) made a wonderful Easter dinner!

That night we went on a walk around their park, and got to watch an awesome lightning storm. I wish we had more of those in oregon. I like the rain when the air is warm and we can sit outside and watch the sky light up. Gorgeous.

The next day I went with Christi, her kiddos, and my dad to Great Falls NP to walk around until my dad had to be at the airport.

We stopped by coldstone for my birthday lunch before heading back to Christi's house for a nap outside. It was the perfect trip until I missed my direct flight and had to be rerouted through Denver. That sucked! But it was wonderful. And really nice to be with just Beckham for a few days. I feel like I got to know him so much better (which sounds so weird), but we finally figured each other out.

California Adventure

We headed to Disneyland for a morning of fun with Sheri and Miley. We went, ate, watched a show, roade one ride, let the kids play in the grizzly bear area. The biggest hit of the day was this duck sitting on a rock by the waterfall, they were trying to find everyway to see it!

Feelings

Beware... lots of rambling and scattered thoughts to follow.

So I have been on a roller coaster the last few days. I know, shocking right. I barely remember Christmas, let alone what has happened over the last week. I keep replaying the events over in my mind to help myself remember, but honestly, they are starting to fade quickly. I keep going back to last week, when everything was great. We were out playing soccer, even Rhys joined in on the action, until something hurt. The next day was better and Christmas morning. I have been looking forward to this for sometime, as Rhys would finally be participating. Later, the whole family was gathered around the Christmas table for a fabulous BBQ dinner. There was talk of every ones future plans, favorite memories, favorite foods, happy times and what to do the next day. We all sat together and watched Inception while Rhys was fast asleep upstairs. I started to get a little uncomfortable but thats been pretty typical. I finally felt down to my stomach and knew instantly that something was wrong. It was hard as a rock, and hadn't let up in hours. I didnt want to ruin the night, or get everyone all alarmed, so I hung out till most people were asleep. I told Justin I thought I was in labor, but we both thought that sounded crazy. After all, I wasnt due for another 7 weeks. After a massage and a blessing I crawled into bed. No more than 2 minutes later, a big gush happened and I thought my water had broke. Peeling back the covers revealed a blood soaked bed. Panic hit then. I called the dr. at home, and said we will see you in the hospital in a few minutes.

We got checked in at 12:30pm. I was already having contractions every 3 minutes and dilated to a 4. I became a pin cushion for needles. IV fluids, steroids, penicillin, magnesium (which is awful by the way), and plenty more I cant recall. The only thing I heard was that I wouldn't be leaving the hospital until I had a baby, and hopefully that would be in a couple of days for the steroids to kick in. Oh, but this particular hospital doesn't deliver babies under 35 weeks, so we would have to be transferred to one 25 minutes away with a better NICU. And we had to hurry because the Magnesium wasn't really working the way they planned. It was supposed to stop the contractions, but it just slowed them down a bit. So a couple of hours and one ambulance ride later we checked into our second hospital of the night.

Another round of Magnesium, more shots and a whole new set of faces, we were hoping this baby would stay put. At 5am there had been no change, so they said they would check me in an hour or so and try to get some rest. At 5:30 I was being told this wasn't really working and I would be delivering in an operating room close to the NICU. All I remember asking was "Wait, WHAT!?!! This baby is coming now? This stuff that has made me feel like I have the flu on top of being in labor isn't even working?!" I had constantly still be bleeding and when they finally broke my water it wasn't going to be long. By this point, I had the shakes and chills so bad, I could hardly breathe on my own. I was dizzy and light headed and trying to fathom having this baby now. There was talk of a cesarean so I asked for an epidural instead. That gave me enough control to focus on breathing for me and baby and he was delivered in 3 pushes. He came out with eyes wide open and crying and I think justin and I both lost it. They took him straight to the NICU and me to recovery and wasnt till several hours later I got to hold my new little son. We got back to the room just in time to call Grandma and tell her take care of Rhys when she got up.

Since then, I feel like I have been torn in two. Literally. I want to be at the hospital, holding the new love of my life. Telling him to stay strong, and keep working hard. Tell him don't forget to breathe, and reminding myself to do the same. I want to sit and snuggle with him for hours because we both sleep better when we are together. I want to kiss his little face and tell him I love him and how excited we are to have him home. I want to watch him sleep and rock him good night. And even though I leave the hospital with a huge grin on my face, my heart breaks every time I walk through those doors with out my son.

And I come home to another piece of me. He is happy, and strong, and determined. He has no idea what is going on. I try to tell him about his little brother and we practice his name, but I don't think it has registered what all this means. I don't want him to feel abandoned or that all we do is leave him with other people, but that's kinda how its been lately. It makes spending all that time at the hospital that much more difficult. That the sweetness of Beckham is tainted by my sadness for Rhys. But he let me rock him to sleep the other day, and I think I cried the whole time. It was just perfect. I would have stayed there for hours.

Hopefully this doesn't last too much longer and I can have my whole family back together again.

getting good.

This weekends plans just got a whole lot more interesting! I was planning to go home to CA to for a day, then drive to Vegas for another day, and fly home. Crazy, I know. Now let me explain (not that it will get rid of any of the craziness, it may in fact just add to it).

So since being pregnant, I have not been to the dentist. I'm not one of those people who avoids the dentist like the plague, I in fact really enjoy the feeling of fresh clean teeth. And in all honesty, I dont mind getting a cavity filled is (not that Im hoping for one)....anyways. Growing up, one of my dads best friends lives in Vegas, and just so happens to be a dentist. We always went to him for everything we have needed (cavities, wisdom teeth, crowns, ect.) and made a weekend out of going to shows and shopping. This may just be where my love for Vegas began.

Thats right, I love Vegas. I love all the bright lights, the million exhibits, good food, warm sunshine, intricate pools, entertaining shows and walking around all the themed hotels. Im like a kid when it comes to flashy, over-the-top things and bright lights. This is perhaps why I insisted on "running away to vegas" for our wedding, and luckily my wonderful husband obliged. Now I know about all the crap that is also there, and I know other people come for an entirely different purpose, but I just kinda ignore all that.

Anyways. What went from a weekend of dentist and Vegas for a day, has quickly turned into a long weekend complete with road trip reunion for me and my bf Sheri, and our 2 munchkins, and a good friends wedding. Yea!! I cant wait!

hello.

I'm back. I took a little hiatus from the blog, a cleansing if you will. I felt like I had run out of everything I could have ever wanted to say. Tired of just rhys updates, and lets face it, he is my everyday, so scenery rarely changed. With that said, I could not be more excited about the stage he is in. I spend my days watching him explore, learn, laugh and cry. Everyday is better than the last, but in some ways, still the same. Its hard to blog about that. But I have found my mojo (yes, my mojo) and a new sense of blogging! This does not mean that most of my posts will not be about Rhys, cause they probably will, but I will mix it up.

dahlia farm

A few weeks ago, I met my Aunt and Auntie at the Dahlia farm in Canby. Its this little town like 20 minutes from my house with acres of all kinds of Dahlias. Needless to say, I LOVED IT!! Totally loved it. You walk through rows and rows of these flowers, each one different from the next, and all so pretty. They come in all colors, sizes and pedal varieties. You mark down the ones that you like and order them to be delivered in the spring time. I cant wait until I have a house that I can plant anything I want in because it will definitely have a ton of these flowers!

CA

what to do when the hubby is busy studying... go to CA!! Rhys and I hopped on a plane and headed down to my hometown. Thank goodness my grandma was with us on the plane, because I was soo nervous he would be screaming the whole time. But he did great! He was awake and playing for the first hour and a half, and slept right through the landing. But it was a great trip filled with family, friends, food, a wedding, a castle, food, shopping, swimming, 3 major blowouts, sunshine and even more yummy food.

Remember this post and this post, well we have now turned into this:

just seeing what rhys' little sis might look like...cute?

We headed north to Santa Barbara, Solvang and San lois Obispo for a wedding, Hearst Castle and some Danish food. It was lots of fun!

Extreme blolwout

Then back home for some shopping and good food. Rhys was being so spoiled with hugs and kisses from his cousin Ashlyn. She just wanted to hold him and hug him all the time.

did I mention I have the cutest neice?? Nows a good time to! her sour face.

people of the gym

Today as I was stretching after a work out, I started looking at the other people who were there. Usually, Im all about minding my own buisness, get in get out kinda thing. But today I had some extra time. As I looked around, I realized I had seen most of these people before. I think there is one in every gym... Maybe you've seen them too.

the scrawny iron pumper- possibly my favorite. Hes been scrawny his whole life and his new years resolution will be to get pumped up. His weights are way to heavy and he is literally using every muscle in his body to get those bicep curls done.

the buff lady- She puts the scrawny iron pumper to shame, has muscles more defined than most boys, oh and is usually in her 60's.

the small man syndrome- muscles like Arnold, but in a 5' 3" size. He's got a bite to him too, kind of like a those little dogs...

elliptical extraordinaire- This is the gal who is in the zone, rockin the tunes, at speeds where her legs are soon to take off on their own and leave the rest of her body there. She is typically also reading a magazine at the same time, and when you check out her "stats", she is around 45 minutes and still has a half hour to go.

pants-to-tight buddy- The guy who still thinks its ok to wear the spandex. A guy with spandex. Its not ok buddy!

all wrong abs- The girl in the corner doing her ab workouts all wrong. Instead of isolating just the abs, she uses her whole body to get off thew floor in some peculiar position she once saw on a Cindy Crawford work out video.

the sweater- the one who looks like he just got out of the shower with all his clothes on because he is that drenched.

Mr. Suave- little does he know that no matter how many times he orders a Peach-Passion smoothie with extra whey protein, she is just not that interested. She has to be nice to everyone, so put that cut-off-sleeves shirt back in your drawer.

Sound familiar?